We will all remember where we were and what we were doing the moment we learned of Ms. Houston’s death. It will be indelibly etched into our collective memories as was the news of Michael Jackson’s death and President Obama’s historic win for The White House.Everyone has a Whitney song that is their favorite that brings back sweet memories of a former time. All of the media outlets asked what was our favorite Whitney tune and we all rushed to answer the polls along with the reason why it was significant to us. She was “ours”, we all claimed her! Why not? Most of us who loved her music grew up on it and are nearly the same age as she was, if not exactly.
Why does the news of her death hurt so deeply and affect us so strongly? I say it’s because her music was the soundtrack to our favorite memories. We can recall the seasons of our own lives by Whitney’s songs, I know I can!
Listening to the tributes over the weekend sent me down my own memory lane and triggered bitter sweet memories for me.
I smiled as I heard some songs because we were both single and ‘wanting to dance with somebody, wanting to feel the heat with somebody, wanting somebody who loves me’ at the same time. When we did find that ‘somebody’ we both vowed to ‘always love you’ to our husbands. Her sultry ballad ‘you give good love to me, baby’ became THIS married woman’s anthem!
I can go on and on with how her songs coincided with the seasons of my life. We all can and that’s what makes this one (Whitney’s death) so hard to accept.
We ask ourselves, if she’s gone, how much time do we REALLY have left? Can we, will we overcome our own personal demons before we expire or will our life’s story end before we have clearly defeated and walked in total victory over our own struggles?
When we learned of her death, we all prayed silently, “Lord don’t let it be because of her addictions. Let it be anything BUT that, please God.” She was ‘ours’ and we wanted to protect our sister’s dignity and we defended her when others spoke ill of the dead. Just like in our personal families when one of our own dies under questionable circumstances, we wonder and ask in hushed whispers “what happened?” hoping our fears aren’t confirmed.
Nobody but Jesus knows what really happened, what her relationship with Him was and if all was well with her soul. I respectfully submit that we all stop speculating and make sure we are regulating our OWN lives to make sure God is our #1!
In my case, My #1 Is Still My #1! after I experienced the sudden and accidental deaths of both my husband and oldest daughter in a car accident ten years ago. The shock of that news stayed with me for weeks – long after both their funerals because it was a hard concept to get my head around.
Parents burying their child (me/Cissy), a child burying their parent (my surviving daughter/Bobbi Kristina) was all so overwhelming (for me/them) that emotionally I functioned on automatic pilot for days, weeks, months and later for many years of my grief journey.
My journey through grief stalled several times over the years due to my emotional triggers and delayed grieving. It took several strategies for me to finally become unstuck and to overcome my grief and I share them in a book I wrote, My #1 Is Still My #1! about my losses.
There are several life principles I share in a step by step guide to overcoming grief using the Word of God in my book. One successful strategy that I used to manage my grief journey, that I know the Houston family is using as well, is appointing a gatekeeper to filter all inquiries from well meaning family and friends.
When you are already overwhelmed by your own emotions, having to repeat the same thing over and over becomes mentally, psychologically and spiritually draining, not to mention the physical fatigue. Gatekeepers can filter the calls and visitors for you, allowing you the strength to just exhale. SELAH
You forget to breathe when you’re that overwhelmed by grief and the gatekeepers serve as your guardian angels in the flesh. Everyone should identify who that would be for them BEFORE a crisis comes in order to lessen the decision making needed at that time.
