In a conversation with Crosswalk, Pastor Keion Henderson shared that if you ask any of his followers to describe him in one word, they’d likely choose “authentic”—a quality he’s completely comfortable with.
In promoting his latest book, Lazy Love, Pastor Keion emphasizes that if God can heal his own brokenness, He can do it for anyone. “I’m naturally transparent,” he says. “I just speak my mind, and sometimes that lands me in hot water. It can be controversial, but I just tell people what I truly think.”
Crosswalk Headlines: How did the book writing process start for you?
Keion Henderson: It wasn’t supposed to be a book; in fact, it started as a sermon that I preached on Valentine’s Day. My assistant pastor at the time said you should turn the sermon into a book. I didn’t even know it was a book until he said it to me. I was in counseling due to just coming out of a divorce. I was really kind of bleeding on the pages when I started writing; the book was the only safe place that I had, and it was birthed out of pain.
CWH: What was the process like, in writing the book?
KH: In order to tell my truth, I have to tell the state of my life. The difficulty of putting yourself out there is when you have to take people who don’t want to go with you. I had to have a conversation with my siblings and my mother and let them know what I was going to say. Once my mother gave me the green light, it freed me up spiritually.
CWH: You write in the book that natural relationships spring up based on the kind of climate you create. Can you explain that?
KH: I think that to connect with other people, you must start with yourself. I can’t remember off hand about attachment style theories; they have really taken off in psychology and sociology. The theory talks about the ways that our parents raised us. When you can lean into how you were raised, you will find out how you connect with the climate that a person may find themselves in.
CWH: What do you say to the person who is trying to avoid their past and trying to move on?
KH: Nobody likes to go back into the past, right? The past is this thing that haunts you when you decide to walk away from it. When you don’t walk away from it, it’s a bedfellow. When you don’t walk away from it, it’s a friend. When you don’t walk away from it, it’s a coping mechanism. When you don’t walk away from it, it’s a friend or an excuse. But when you decide I’m better than this, when you decide I’m stronger than this, and when you decide I want to go further, the past says, no, no, no, you’re not. No, you’re not; you’re not going to get healthy and leave me behind. So, you must be able to face the past.
CWH: I don’t want to give away too much of the book. You talk about your father’s wounds in the book. What should a person do, who is suffering from Father’s wounds?
KH: I’m a Christian, so I guess everybody will assume that I would say pray and read your Bible, which you should. You need a therapist; you are not going to go to church and shout and pray and dance this thing off of you. If that were the case, everybody in the church would be healed. So, you got to go and get some legitimate help.
CWH: In the book, you mention that your mentor, TD Jakes, helped you overcome your father’s wounds. How did he do that?
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