You may remember the Marvin Gaye 1982 hit, "Sexual Healing," but let me introduce you to a young man who is taking over that theme. Jeffrey "JT" Tyler is an outspoken advocate for abstinence who has experienced momentum in recent national coverage about his work. Last November, he was featured in a Gospel Today’s sexual purity article, in an effort to combat what he calls "sex driven media." A voice to men and women, Jeff has traveled around the DC Metropolitan area, as an inspirational speaker and runway model for Worth the Wait, Inc., teaching that "your past does not disqualify your destiny."
"There are men who are virgins out there," Jeff exclaims. "But they keep it to themselves, usually because of pride. Men like to be respected and the image of being a virgin is not popular. Media makes us think that everybody is having sex as often as they eat but there are some brothers who are not letting their private parts determine their purpose." Well, Jeff is bringing male virginity back, in style.
Jeff is a 27-year old virgin who claims never to have had difficulty sharing about his expression of self-discipline. In the past 2-3 years he has emerged, through his radio show "The Takeover Live," and in mentorship to area youths, to embody an overlooked lifestyle of abstinence in mainstream culture. "I have had women say, ‘I have never met a male virgin before…It is not about me. It’s about God and those who need help and attention." He has created spaces where men unwittingly profess their virginity because they are inspired by his courage to talk about his life freely.
Jeff studies historical figures and has found that "leaders have to be ready to be the center of controversy." Jeff wants to broaden abstinence talk from reacting to the STDs and HIV/AIDS pandemic to a more proactive discussion about cultivating emotional and spiritual wealth. He is campaigning for personal practices and habits that lead to stable relationships and homes.
Jeff attributes his virginity to his parents, who equipped him to be the difference. He believes that an abstinent lifestyle is cultivated through guidance. The growing attention that Jeff is receiving reflects the demand for models of virginity and abstinence. "It is my responsibility, as a man, to empower others because it was done for me."
When I asked him about advice to young men in single parent homes, who would like to demonstrate sexual discipline, he said that it starts with a desire to do right. "Even if a man is not a virgin, his future does not have to reflect his past. For me it is about a man’s ability to take responsibility –and believe me abstinence is not an easy thing to do. I personally have been helped through the power of God."
Jeff admits that a person does not have to be a Christian to be abstinent but for him a relationship with God is how he is able to maintain standards that help him to keep his testimony.
Sometimes people are turned off in conversations about virginity because of different personal decisions but also because of assaults on their innocence through abuse. It is important to note that Compassion is central to Jeff’s message to all those, who want to reclaim their sexuality. "There are too many things that try to emasculate us and make us feel less than men because of shame. Don’t let that violation block your gifted and talented future."
How can men find support where they are? "There are brothers out there. Position yourself correctly. Move out of your environment if you have to. Find a church that actively supports sexual purity and speak up about your decision," Jeff encourages. "There are people who are anxious to support you."