“Beauty in Me” (Hiding behind beauty, fashions, clothes, and “the secret”)
I do not look like what I deal with 24 hours/7 days a week, BUT GOD!
I am Jearlean Taylor I grew up in a happy home in Southwest Baltimore. At the age of 2 1/2 years old, I developed a rare form of cancer (Rhabdomysarcoma). Doctors thought I would not live to celebrate my 3rd birthday. Since the age of 3 years old, I have had permanent colostomy and urostomy, which aids my bladder and bowel functions, which cause me to wear ostomy bags. No one could imagine my difficulties, low self-esteem, disappointments, insecurities, suicidal thoughts, too many surgeries to count, and my problem with loving me. I spent all my childhood and most of my adolescent years at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan, NY fighting this disease and all that came after, especially my ostomy bags. . My life was a journey of unexpected turns.
My heart’s desire has always been to make a difference in people lives, but there was something internally that was unstable in my life. My mind, body, and soul longed for answers. I had outer beauty, but was suffering on the inside with low self-esteem, pity, and unhappiness. Could my beauty cover up my hurt? . I would say my problem was cancer, but my disease was what I called “Pretty Girl Blues”. Was this a label I put on myself or allowed other to give me?
Through my journey, I discovered who I could be in spite of my medical circumstances. My insecurities did not change overnight, but I learned to be a survivor. I am blessed to have my desires, passions, and dreams come true. I have been a fashion model for over 16 years, yes with two ostomy bags. I was nominated in 2011 as one of top fashion runway models by Maryland D Fashion Awards. To see the outer appearance no one could ever tell I live with these adversities. I would not allow my circumstance to dictate my future. Who would have thought? GOD.
My story continued with struggles, insecurities, heartaches, pain, and disappointments, but through it all God was my saving grace. I hope to help those suffering with low-self-esteem by reaching out, encouraging, uplifting up, listening, understanding, and helping those in need. I do not look like what I deal with 24 hours/7 days a week. And now my blessing of grooming others interested in fashion/modeling industry, no matter size, ethnic, height, or lack of experience. We build, train, and develop from inside out; www.jaccmodelinginc.com .
In addition, “Pretty Girl Blues” is now my published autobiography. It tells story of my life as a cancer survivor. Moreover how living with ostomy (bags) affected my entire life. Visit www.prettygirlblues.com